04.20.2016

Let's face it...stress abounds everywhere...but stress almost evolved into a panic attack today, and I had to talk myself out of running down the hall screaming, "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore" (Network, 1976).  Instead, I calmly watched the clock tick down to my planning period.  Calculatingly, I turned off the glaring fluorescent lighting, locked my door, and planned to stay in my room--tucked away from sight--to simply breathe.  However, that plan went out the window as my colleague came to the door and asked if she could use my room to interview a student.  Of course, I said, "Sure."  Then, what happened next, really told me my plan was done.  She asked if she could turn on the lights, those bright, glaring fluorescent lights.  Of course, I said, "Sure," as I promptly gathered my notebook, pens, and iPhone in search of a quiet place to gather my thoughts, meditate, if you will.

Do you realize there are no quiet places in a high school?  No unoccupied space existed today.  The library has now become an overflow gathering spot for those who do not want to sit in the cafeteria--and it's noisy in there.  And before you ask, nope, we do not have a "teacher's lounge"-- who has time to lounge anymore?  Certainly not teachers.

I continued my search for quiet, and then I saw it--a miracle occurring before my eyes:  a teacher with her students in the computer lab!  You may be wondering about the miracle, and it may not be a miracle to you, but it was to me.  Their presence in the computer lab meant I had access to a quiet, empty classroom.  I asked permission, and permission was granted--who could deny a desperate teacher sanctuary?

I locked the door.  Kept the lights off.  Went to the back of the classroom and sat down to breathe.  Freed my thoughts.  Breathed some more.  Organized my thoughts.  Continued breathing.  After I left the classroom, I took a long walk around campus, soaking up the sunshine and warm breeze.  That's all I needed--time to breathe and warm sunshine.

Allowing myself thirty minutes of uninterrupted quiet time gave me the energy to finish the day with less stress.  

But the story doesn't end there.  As my senior AP students arrived, one girl asked if she could have five minutes--just five minutes--to gather her thoughts.  Normally, I would not have allowed such a luxury:  imagine students needing time to gather their thoughts!  Ha!  Yep, I gave them five minutes to close their eyes, to sit in the cool darkness of the classroom, gathering their thoughts.

I explained to my students what had happened to me earlier in the day, and I let them know that, like them, I, too, have moments where I just need quiet.  As I explained my earlier journey, several students said that they had seen me walking around.  I guess I became more real to them in that moment.

While spring brings warmer weather, beautiful flowers, and budding trees, it also brings stress...schedule issues because of testing upon testing...projects...end-of-the year demands...deadlines...on and on until everyone is ready to scream, "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!"  Take the time to breathe.  Take the time to gather your thoughts.  Take the time to take care of yourself.  If you don't, who will?